I was in the market for a dog. I looked in the Classifieds and saw an ad for a talking dog. So I went to see a man about a dog. "I hear you have the gift of gab," I said to the dog. "You heard correctly," he replied to my astonishment. He went on to tell me how he studied English as a second language in high school (his native tongue was canine, of course). He became a toastmaster. Some people complained that toastmasters was going to the dogs, but he proved theywere barking up the wrong tree. He became a world champion of public speaking and a storytelling star at the National Storytelling Festival. He told shaggy dog stories. He became a trained Shakespearean actor, starring in Macbeth and Hamlet. He was a natural for these roles since his mother was a Scottish Terrier and his father was a Great Dane. He himself was a Presbyterian. Oprah invited him on her show. He wasn't allowed on the couch, though, unlike Tom Cruise. He went into politics, which is a dog eat dog world; so naturally he excelled. He ate the opposition for breakfast. He ran for president and won. He went from the dog house to the White House. I guess you're wondering whether or not I bought this incredible talking dog. Well, I did. And then I found out why his owner sold him.
